"Old Woman Attacks Train Passenger"

What the hell is up with old people?

I was on my way to work the other day and I was sitting on the train engrosed in my book. Opposite me was an old dear that got on a few stations after me. She seemed harmless enough as they always do but I was totally mistaken.

About 5 minutes after she got I felt somethink smack off my cheek and land on my lap. It was an orange boiled sweet and the old women had thrown at me. I looked up and she was sucking away on a similar bit of confectionary and sort of grunted at me. I didn't really know what to do next but the sweet was still wrapped so I think she was offering it as a gesture of kindness as opposed to actually trying to take my eye out.

So I said thank you and opened it and popped it into my gob half expecting to start having some crazy acid-induced trip. However, this seemed not to please her because she started making a face like one of the Hobbits does in the First Lord of the Rings when Gandalf drives his cart past the old boys house setting of fireworks while the old hobbit is raking the garden.

Thankfully my stop was right after that so I boosted out of there ASAP is case she started hitting me with her walking stick for no reason. Mentalist. Sweet was good though and I didn't get a hit of it.