MeNTaL PeoPLe MeNtAL WEathEr!!!

Everything was bonkers today. It was my last evening shift in my set of 4 and I was looking forward to a quiet one, although to be honest it never really matters what happens on the last shift as you know that you don't have to come in the next day.

Luckily the trains were back on so I made my way to work on the tracks, bike in hand but was dismayed to find the waiting room full and the whole of the ED full as well. After I got changed I plowed into the Fast-track patients (which is the same as "Minors" back home) to try to make a dent but things just went from bad to worse as I moved into Majors and then finally Resus.

It started with a few broken limbs and several botched backslabs (from the day before) needing repaired. An hour later I was examining a blokes genitalia (he was from Inverness incidently). Then I was fixing someones pulmonary oedema as he tried to drown on me. Next was anaphylaxis (thanks to all the Monklands anaesthatic team for saving me on that one - Airway skills...goooood!!!). Next I had a drunken suicidal teenager trying to smash the place up while making a bid for freedom. Psych said they didn't have enought reason to section her so she was let out. She dashed into the waiting room and proceeded to have some crazy seizure action. Nice.

But things finally came to a head in the Dept when another psyche patient (who had overdosed earlier) woke up and required sedating as she threw the best wobbly I've ever seen. An ART (aggression response team) alert was called after she punched one of the male nurses (and what a punch it was) which saw about 8 blokes pile into her and hold her down as I filled her full of drugs. It took 10mg Olanzepine, 10mg Haloperidol, 5mg Midazolam and 50mg Phenergan to calm her down and she was already kicking off again by the time I was leaving. Here is a list of some of the things she said (not for the faint hearted - you've been warned)...

"I know the Prime Minster and I'm going to tell him what you're doing in this shit hole!"

"Your fat and ugly" (OK so she had a point here).

"F*** you f*** you f*** you f*** you (this goes on for about 10 minutes).

"My husband raped me 2 nights ago (which was not true as she was in jail for trying to stab him) and now you are raping me with your drugs!"

"I want to see my Psychiatrist NOOOOOOOOOW! Not some F***ing bitch Registrar"

"This wouldn't happen in Europe, only America and Australia because American and Australian men can't get their c***s hard and need to rape women with drugs."

And the best insult I've ever heard.....

"I hope all your babies are born dead!"

Thanks you mentalist! Honestly, I realise that people have stress in their jobs but if someone was to walk into a bank and behave like that on a regular basis half the staff would leave and the other half would probably be killed in the gunfire from the SWAT team that was taking her down. I'm constantly amazed at what people in the medical profession have to put up with. (For all the psyche docs out there - I know she has a mental illness but it's still not nice for other non-psych patients to have to listen to/put up with that kind of abuse.)

As I left I had a spring in my step (out of sheer relief) and was looking forward to a fast cycle home. One of the Ambo Crew stopped me and, laughing, said "You know it's raining don't you?" Damn he was right. For those of you who did the Mull cycle 2 years ago, a downpour was in progress akin to the deluge we had on the cycle into Tobermory. There was about 3 inches of water on the road and at parts the whole of the crank shaft was underwater (including BOTH my feet). Luckily there wasn't a single car on the road but my "fast cycle" turned out to be 42mins which is almost the same speed that I can do the cycle up hill! I suppose that had something to do with the 30mph headwind and the extra 6 stone of rain water I was carrying.

None the less I got home in one piece (physically if not mentally) and I had the most amazing card waiting for me on the table from Tash. It had a great photo on the front of Tash ala biker gear and awesome chat - "Maxout Productions" I love it! I almost (but not quite) had a touch of home sickness but a rapid thought of Burbury soon fixed that!

Anyway, good night everyone - four days of sloth await!