"I love the dark. I love the dark... but I hate nature!" Chunk from The Goonies

Just like Chunk running through the night time under growth trying to get help for the rest of The Goonies who are hiding in the Fratelli's basement, I just can't get away from the damn creatures here.

Isla phoned me from Queensland and said she'd almost trodden on a Taipan the other day when out walking in the Bush with her Dad. I was a bit jealous but soon changed my mind on the way to work last night.

As I've said before there are no street light in Australia (practically) and as I left the station and headed to the hospital I wandered down a long dark street that I always walk down. However, the change of seasons seems to have brought out all the nasty little beasties that have been hiding under rocks for the last few months.

In the darkness I plowed my way through about 6 big spider webs and had to flick a 3 inch golden orb spider off my sleeve, almost trod on about 4 foot long centipedes, danced around the pavement with a incredibly rapid entourage of huge cockroaches that came swarming out of gutter at me and finally almost walked into another fruit bat (that amusingly was hanging from the canopy of the Paradise Fruit Market which unfortunately for the bat was closed).

I walked into the A&E department liked I'd just spend a few too many hours on the set of an Indiana Jones movie but was quite relieved to be bite free although I wasn't enjoying the new silk trim on my hoodie.

In the cold light of day most of the creepy crawlies had decided to vampyrically hide themselves from the sun so I had a clear walk back to the train. However, my brush with the various forms of nature was not over yet because when I got into the flat I found Malcolm sitting on the couch. He's a Indian Myna (that's not an Asian dude with a pick-axe it's a bird a bit like a colourful thrush) that always appears on our window ledge about 11am for no reason that either of us can figure out. I'd alway suspected that he'd been in the flat before when we were out and the window was open a bit to far and sure enough here was the proof.

Not happy with using our sofa for a nice place to rest he decided to take off and fly round the room a few times with a crazy display of speed before streaking out the window. I guess I'd startled him a bit but that didn't stop him crapping not once, not twice but three times during that mad indoor flight - once on the couch, once on the window and a final thoughfully placed shite on the fitness ball.

The bugger.